One way to hold this word: it starts as an address, not a compliment. It says which family you belong to — the old name, the land, the large quiet house. From that starting point it travels along one line. First it stops being about the family and becomes about what growing up in such a family leaves on a person: the soft voice, the small movements, the careful words. Then, once anyone can learn those movements, the word turns slightly and starts pointing at the learning itself — at someone keeping up an appearance. Same three steps, same word: where you are from, how that taught you to behave, and how visible the effort is.
From the word’s history
Borrowed from French gentil, from Latin gentīlis 'of or belonging to the same family or clan', built on gēns 'clan, family'. A doublet of gentle and gentile.
借自法文 gentil，源自拉丁文 gentīlis（屬於同一個家族、同一個氏族的），字根是 gēns（氏族、家族）。英文的 gentle、gentile 跟它同源。
Wiktionary entry for genteel (packet etymology_text): 'Borrowed from French gentil, from Latin gentīlis … from gēns … Doublet of gentle, gentile, and jaunty.'
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